My six-year-old son had been obsessed with Spider-Man for years, so when he casually told me that the superhero had visited him while I was at work, I laughed. Then the visits multiplied, and Charlie started giving me details that no imaginary friend should ever know.
My six-year-old son, Charlie, had been a Spider-Man fan ever since he was old enough to point at the TV screen.
The walls of his room were covered with posters. He had three Spider-Man costumes, two masks, web-shooters that made an annoying clicking sound, and enough figurines to populate a small town.
When Charlie told me one Tuesday evening that Spider-Man had visited him, I barely looked up from the onions I was chopping.
Most nights, I had to dodge imaginary webs while preparing dinner.
« Mom, you’re stuck, » Charlie announced.
« I have pasta cooking. »
« The bad guys, they don’t take a pasta break. »
So, when Charlie told me one Tuesday evening that Spider-Man had visited him, I barely looked up from the onions I was chopping.
« He wanted to see me. »
« He came today, » said Charlie.
» Ah good ? »
» Yeah. »
« What did he want? »
« He wanted to see me. »
« He said I wasn’t supposed to tell you. »
I smiled.
« You’re becoming famous. »
Charlie smiled, then added, « He said I wasn’t supposed to tell you. »
My knife stopped.
Just a second.
» Why not ? »
« Spider-Man brought me gummy candies today. »
Charlie shrugged.
« It’s a secret identity thing. »
This answer was so typical of a six-year-old that I burst out laughing.
I had completely forgotten about that until Thursday.
I was helping Charlie brush his teeth when he said, « Spider-Man brought me gummy candies today. »
Charlie loved a very specific brand of strawberry gummy candies that I rarely bought.
I looked at him in the mirror.
« What kind of candy? »
« The reds. »
Charlie loved a very specific brand of strawberry gummy candies that I rarely bought.
« Where are they? »
« What do dinosaurs have to do with Spider-Man? »
« Spider-Man ate some too. »
« What a generous superhero! »
Charlie nodded his head seriously.
« He knows I love dinosaurs. »
That caught my attention.
Megan was his babysitter. She would pick him up from school and stay until I got home.
« What do dinosaurs have to do with Spider-Man? »
« He played with my T. rex. »
I turned off the tap.
« Charlie, was Megan there? »
Megan was his babysitter. She would pick him up from school and stay until I got home.
The following afternoon, I questioned Megan about it, as if nothing had happened.
» Yeah. »
« Has she seen Spider-Man? »
Charlie suddenly became interested in the cap of the toothpaste tube.
» I don’t know. »
The following afternoon, I questioned Megan about it, as if nothing had happened.
Megan was twenty-eight years old and had been taking care of Charlie since he was very young.
« Has anyone been here recently? »
She looked really perplexed.
» Here ? »
« Yeah. Friends, neighbors, delivery people? »
» No. »
« Charlie, are you still telling weird stories? »
Megan was twenty-eight years old and had been taking care of Charlie since he was a baby. She had never given me any reason not to trust her.
» For what ? »
« For nothing. »
She smiled.
« Charlie, are you still telling weird stories? »
Over the next two weeks, Charlie talked about Spider-Man almost every day.
« Spider-Man, apparently. »
Megan laughed.
« He talks about Spider-Man all the time. »
That should have settled the matter.
But that was not the case.
Spider-Man knew that Charlie hated grape candy.
Over the next two weeks, Charlie talked about Spider-Man almost every day.
Spider-Man knew that Charlie hated grape candy.
He knew that his favorite dinosaur was the velociraptor.
He had helped him build a spaceship out of Lego.
He even knew that Charlie had been afraid of the dark hallway outside my room ever since he could walk.
Every detail was insignificant.
Then Charlie mentioned that Spider-Man knew exactly where I kept the spare batteries.
« Did you show him? »
Charlie shook his head.
« He already knew. »
Every detail was insignificant.
One evening, I sat on Charlie’s bed.
But put together, it bothered me.
One evening, I sat on Charlie’s bed.
« What’s Spider-Man’s voice like? »
« Like a guy. »
I laughed in spite of myself.
« Have you ever seen his face? »
« That helps me a lot. »
« He laughed loudly. »
« Have you ever seen his face? »
Charlie shook his head.
« He says superheroes can’t show their faces. »
« You said you didn’t know if Megan had seen it. »
« Does Megan talk to him? »
Another break.
» Sometimes. »
I had a knot in my stomach.
« You said you didn’t know if Megan had seen it. »
Children’s minds work in strange ways. Once, Charlie spent three days claiming that our washing machine had a wife.
Charlie frowned.
« I forgot. »
I didn’t insist.
Children’s minds work in strange ways. Once, Charlie spent three days claiming that our washing machine had a wife.
But children also repeat what adults tell them.
Then, one afternoon, I came home and found three cups in the drainer.
And I couldn’t get that first sentence out of my head.
He said I wasn’t supposed to tell you.
Then, one afternoon, I came home and found three cups in the drainer.
« Did you have visitors? » I asked Megan.
She glanced towards the sink.
That was the problem. All the explanations seemed perfectly plausible.
« No. I must have left one from yesterday. »
Perhaps.
That was the problem. All the explanations seemed perfectly plausible.
Then, one Friday afternoon, there was a power outage at the office.
Twenty minutes later, my boss sent everyone home.
Perhaps a part of me wanted to catch my imagination lying to me.
I took out my phone.
Normally, I would have warned Megan.
I even opened his contact form.
Then I closed it again.
Perhaps a part of me wanted to catch my imagination lying to me.
Then I heard Charlie laughing upstairs.
Megan’s car was in my driveway.
Everything looked normal.
I unlocked the front door without making a sound.
Then I heard Charlie laughing upstairs.
And a man was laughing with him.
Someone had broken into my house while I was at work.
I froze.
Charlie said something that I couldn’t hear.
The man replied.
« That’s cheating, son. »
My hands turned cold.
The floor in front of my room creaked.
Someone had broken into my house while I was at work.
Someone who had convinced my six-year-old son not to tell me anything.
I went upstairs without saying anything.
The floor in front of my room creaked.
The voices fell silent.
Through the gap, I saw a red-gloved hand push a Lego piece towards my son.
Then Charlie said, « Your turn. »
When I arrived in his room, the door was almost closed.
Through the gap, I saw a red-gloved hand push a Lego piece towards my son.
I pushed the door open.
Charlie was sitting on the floor, surrounded by Lego.
I crossed the room, grabbed Charlie, and hugged him tightly.
Facing him was Spider-Man.
Not an imaginary Spider-Man.
An adult in full costume.
» Mom ! »
The man stood up.
He raised both hands, then slowly removed his mask.
I crossed the room, grabbed Charlie, and hugged him tightly.
» Who are you ? »
« Wait. »
« Take off your mask. »
« Mom, it’s Spider-Man. »
For a second, my brain refused to recognize the face that was hidden underneath.
« Take it off. Right now. »
He raised both hands, then slowly removed his mask.
For a second, my brain refused to recognize the face that was hidden underneath.
He looked older. Thinner. Grey streaks of hair were visible at his temples.
But I knew him.
This question hurt me more than seeing him.
« Evan? »
Charlie looked from one to the other.
« Who is Evan? »
This question hurt me more than seeing him.
Evan was Charlie’s father.
Evan left when Charlie was still very young.
Charlie didn’t know him.
Evan had left when Charlie was still very young. Charlie had seen some photos and heard my carefully neutral explanation that his dad lived far away.
And there was his father standing in his room, dressed as Spider-Man.
« Get out of here. »
Footsteps echoed in the stairwell.
Evan swallowed.
« Let me explain, please. »
« Get out of his room. »
Charlie clung to me.
« Mom, you’re being mean. »
His face told me everything.
Footsteps echoed in the stairwell.
Megan appeared in the doorway.
His face told me everything.
« You knew. »
« Please don’t shout. »
« No. Tell me why my son’s father sneaks into my house in disguise. »
« You knew it. »
« Perhaps we should talk about it downstairs. »
« No. Tell me why my son’s father sneaks into my house in disguise. »
Evan said, « It wasn’t his idea. »
Megan’s eyes filled with tears.
« So you gave him access to my child? »
« He contacted me a month ago. He told me he had moved back here and wanted to see Charlie. »
« So you gave him access to my child? »
« He was afraid. »
« From me? »
« From Charlie. »
No one responded quickly enough.
Evan spoke in a low voice.
« I didn’t know if he would want me. »
Charlie stared at him.
« Do you know me? »
No one responded quickly enough.
Once they left, Charlie asked questions for almost an hour.
I took Charlie in my arms.
« We’re going downstairs. »
Then I looked at Evan.
« You’re leaving. »
Megan whispered, « I’m sorry. »
I told him that Spider-Man was someone I knew who had made a bad choice by coming in secret.
« You should go too. »
Once they left, Charlie asked questions for almost an hour.
I told him that Spider-Man was someone I knew who had made a bad choice by coming in secret. Charlie hadn’t done anything wrong.
I didn’t tell him who Evan was that night.
The next morning, Evan sent me a text message.
« It doesn’t sound crazy. It is crazy. »
Can we talk without Charlie being here?
I almost blocked him.
Instead, I found him in a cafe.
« I know how crazy it sounds, » he said.
« It doesn’t sound crazy. It is crazy. »
« I never approached him. I just wanted to see him. »
» I know. »
« Why now? »
« I moved back here three months ago. »
» And ? »
« I started driving past Charlie’s school. »
« I kept telling myself I was going to call you. Then I remembered how long I’d been gone. »
My expression must have frightened him.
« I never approached him. I just wanted to see him. »
« Is this supposed to reassure me? »
» No. »
He rubbed his face.
« And she thought it was reasonable to let you into my house in disguise? »
« I kept telling myself I was going to call you. Then I remembered how long I’d been gone. »
« So, you chose Spider-Man. »
« I thought Megan might still be keeping an eye on him. I contacted her. »
« And she thought it was reasonable to let you into my house in disguise? »
« No. She said no at first. »
« He asked me if I knew what he looked like. If I knew his date of birth. »
» At first ? »
« Charlie had started asking him questions about me. »
That stopped me.
« What questions? »
« He asked me if I knew what he looked like. If I knew his date of birth. If I had ever asked about him. »
« I thought it might be limited to just one visit. If Charlie hated being with me, he would never need to know. »
I felt a tightness in my chest.
« Megan had convinced herself that a single supervised meeting could answer those questions without forcing Charlie to understand who I was. »
« And the costume? »
« It was mine. I thought it might be limited to just one visit. If Charlie hated being with me, he would never have needed to know. »
« And what about when that wasn’t the case? »
One bad decision led to another, because admitting the first one meant having to face myself.
« I asked to come back. »
One bad decision led to another, because admitting the first one meant having to face myself.
« You forced a six-year-old child to keep an adult secret because you were afraid of being rejected. »
His face changed expression.
« I hadn’t thought of it that way. »
Evan placed a badly damaged cardboard box on the table.
» Exactly. »
Evan placed a badly damaged cardboard box on the table.
Inside, there were six birthday cards.
One for each year of Charlie’s life.
None of them had a stamp.